Balle Kumar's Universe

Balle Kumar's Universe

Multiverse Series: The Indian Universe

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Kumar: Welcome Sir, Welcome Sir .. Welcome to the Indian Universe

Traveller: Ohh!! Thank you.

Kumar: What would you like to have Sir? Tea , Coffee, Cold Tea , Hot Tea, Hot Coffee, Cold Water ..

Traveller: Ohh!! Nothing.

Kumar: No, you should have something.

Traveller: No.

 

Kumar: Sir, would you like to have Coconut Juice.

 

Traveller: Yes.

 

Kumar: Not Available Sir. Will you have tea instead.

 

Traveller: Ok. Please give me tea.

 

Kumar: Here is tea, Sir.

 

Traveller: So you had the tea already made.

 

Kumar: Yes Sir.

 

Traveller: Then why did you offer me so many choices. I bet you only had tea.

 

Kumar: Very clever Sir. Choice is an illusion Sir.

 

Traveller: Ok. How much for the tea?

 

Kumar: Tea is complementary with your stay Sir.

 

Traveller: But I am not going to stay.

 

Kumar: Sir, from the window you will see Taj Mahal.

 

Traveller: Wow. Really. Then I will stay.

 

Kumar (looks at his ipad): Sir, you are late. The last room is taken Sir.

 

Traveller: Shit..

 

Kumar: I can arrange your stay in my brother’s hotel. A little costly ..

 

Traveller: Ok. You got me. You have my business.

 

Kumar: Thank you Sir.

 

Traveller: Now tell me Sir, what do you have here?

 

Kumar: What do you need Sir?

 

Traveller: I want to see the Universe

 

Kumar: Sure , please come with me. Mind the cow.

 

Traveller: What is this cow doing here in between?

 

Kumar: In our Universe cows have equal rights as men have. She is just listening to our conversation.

 

Traveller: Wow

 

Kumar: Don’t worry Sir she doesn’t understand a thing.

 

Traveller: Ok. What is the speciality of this Universe?

 

Kumar: Our Universe is special only because of the prople of this Universe.

 

Traveller: Like.

 

Kumar: First let me take to the temple of the Great God Errie Appan.

 

Traveller: Who is that?

 

Kumar: He is the greatest god , greater than all other gods.

 

Traveller: There is only one God.

 

Kumar: Did you meet him?

 

Travller: No.

 

Kumar: Are you sure that he exists

 

Traveller: I am not sure.

 

Kumar: So when we don’t know whether God exists or not than why are we confident that there is only one god , may be there are many.

 

Traveller: Makes sense

 

Kumar: In Indian Universe everyone makes sense , we have democracy here. We listen to every one.

 

Traveller: Okk what about Errie Appan

 

Kumar: Say Lord Errie Appan.

 

Traveller: No I won’t

 

Kumar: Ok. No problem. Gaurds!!

 

Traveller: What?

 

Kumar: Escort this gentleman out of this universe and make sure that he pays for the reservation of the room.

 

Traveller: Ok. Lord Errie Appan!!

 

Kumar: The great Lord sits on Dina Asura (Asura : demon in Indian)

 

Traveller: Do you call Dinosaur as Dina Asura?

 

Kumar: No you call DINA ASURA as Dinosaur.

 

Traveller: Ok.

 

Kumar: Take the Lords blessings

 

Traveller: Ok.

 

Kumar: Now you see your stay would be so nice.

 

Traveller: Tell me something. What do you have here?

 

Kumar: Ohh Okk!! We have people

 

Traveller: Something to see, some attractions

 

Kumar: The unique thing about our Universe is that we don’t have any attraction. Our people attract attention wherever they go.

 

Traveller: Like

 

Kumar: Like in your Universe Jesus got crucified himself to save humanity.

 

Traveller: Yes.

 

Kumar: In our Universe we crucify every one to save money.

 

Traveller: But why?

 

Kumar: You must have heard the idiom “Save for the rainy day”

 

Traveller: Yes

 

Kumar: Here it rains very often and so we need to save very often

 

Traveller: Interesting. What other things do you people have?

 

Kumar: We love to stare

 

Traveller: What? Is that good.

 

Kumar: Its very good. If you know that everyone else is staring at you , you would think twice before commiting any crime

 

Traveller: Yes

 

Kumar: So we have no crime.

 

Traveller: Wow

 

Kumar: We have no rules in this Universe

 

Traveller: Now how is that good.

 

Kumar: It is very good. If there are rules then people break them but if there aren’t any then people maintain control

 

Traveller: Whatever? What do you all do?

 

Kumar: We all act in films.

 

Traveller: All

 

Kumar: We love films. We love to be in them , watch them , trash them , burn them. Every one of us is a film buff

 

Traveller: So.

 

Kumar: So as our films are 10 hrs each , we don’t have time to do anything else.

 

Traveller: And what else?

 

Kumar: Rest of the time we are eating. The men generally do the house work and women generally inspect the work done.

 

Traveller: Wow

 

Kumar: Real peace.

 

Traveller: I want to see Taj Mahal

 

Kumar: Wow Taj Mahal epitomizes the spirit of India

 

Traveller: How?

 

Kumar: In all the Universe a woman can only make the man spend till she is alive but here the queen bankrupted him after her death also.

 

Traveller: Look I need to hurry up and leave.

 

Kumar: Wait let me take a photo with you!!

 

Traveller: Sure

 

Kumar: Hail Lord Errie Appan

 

Traveller: Hail Lord Errie Appan. Sitting on a Dina Asura. The creature has left your god  but your god still has you ..

 

 

 

 

Written by Balle Kumar

June 9, 2012 at 12:53 pm

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