Archive for the ‘Satire’ Category
Bevde Ka Interview
Interviewer : Aapne Peena Kab Chalu Kiya?
Bevdaa: Ek din main apne drinking problem se etna tang aa gaya ki maine first time daru ki bottle ko muh se lagaya aur daru ka pehlaa ghot piya.
Interviewer : Lekin woh pehlee baar kaise hua?
Bevdaa: Hua,hua main tha wahan pe. Aap the kya? Nahin naa! Toh aapko kaise pata?
Interviewer : Khair chodiye? Din mein kitni peete hain?
Bevdaa: Nahin pita.
Interviewer : Kya aap daru nahin peete?
Bevdaa: Maine kab kahan ki main daru nahin pita? Main paani nahin peeta. Aaap ne specify nahin kiyan tha. I am drunk but I am paying attention, just like I do while driving.
Interviewer : Kya aap drunk driving karte hain?
Bevdaa: Nahin. Ballam Karta Hain Driving, Jab Main peeta hu. He doesn’t let me drive.
Interviewer : Yeh Ballam Kaun Hain?
Bevdaa: Pata Nahin , main usse tabhi milta hu jab mein nashe mein dhund rehta hoo.
Interviewer : Aapki biwi ne kahan ki ballam aap hi hain? Aap apne aap ko ballam kehta firte hain jab aapne bahut pee rakhi ho?
Bevdaa: Meri Biwi Ne Aap Se Jhoot Kahan.
Interviewer : Kyu?
Bevdaa: Sharif Aurat Ghar ki andar ki baat bahar ke vichitra dikhne wale insanon ko nahin batati. Toh either aap agree kijiye ki meri biwi ne jhoot bola yaa fir aap mere saath agree kijiye ki meri biwi sharif nahin hain.
Interviewer : Etna Peena Sehat Ke Le Haanikarak Hota Hain?
Bevdaa: Main tumhari tarah 400-500 saal chudail ki tarah jeeke bevdon ka interview nahin karna chahta. Kya fayda tumhare life kaa. thu….
Interviewer : Bevde!! Zabaan sambhalke baat kar?
Bevdaa: Bevda mat bol. Bevdejee bol. Bevdejee. Respect dena sikhon mehmanon ko. Bhai ,Main Apne Aap ko sambhal nahin pata toh zabaan kaise sambhale. Yeh studio gol gol kyu ghum rahan hain!!
Interviewer : Apko chakkar aa rahin hain?
Bevdaa: Main kya pet se hu joh mujhe chakkar ayegi , ulti hogi. Nahin, apka studio ghoom rahan hain.
Interviewer : Kya baat kar rahein hain?
Bevdaa: Agar etni badi duniya gol ghum sakti hain toh studio kyu nahin ghum sakta.
Interviewer :Apko kaunsi sharab pasand hain?
Bevdaa: Apki kitni biwiyan hain?
Interviewer: Es sawal ka mere sawal se kya taluq?
Bevdaa: Taluq hain My Lord!! Taluq hain. App chupa kyu rahein ho,
Interviewer: Ek.
Bevdaa: Toh kya aap apni doosri biwi ke saamne pehli biwi ki taarif karoge. Nahin naa.Waise se agar mein whiskey bola toh brandy naraaz ho jayegi. brandy bola toh beer.es liye mujhe sab pasand hain.
Interviewer: Khair , apki family aap ke peene se pareshan honge.
Bevdaa: Nahin. Woh toh khush. Biwi ko tohfe milte , bacchon ke report card par sign ,, bade khush hain. Unko main tab pasand nahin aata jab mein peeta nahin hu. Mera beta toh mera dost ho gaya hain . us din mujhe bola..
Marks mujhe daddy kam mile
Toh thoda thoda gum hua
Aaa mere sang daru pile
Aur dete hain teacher ko baddua
Interviewer: Apke Bacche ki Umar Kitni?
Bevdaa: Koi das bees ka hoga!!
Interviewer: Aapko apne bacche ki umar nahin pata
Bevdaa: Arre ajkal ke bacche etne jaldi bade ho jate hi umar ka track rakhna na mumkin hain. Bas har saal joh school ke fees mein ezafa hota hain usse umar ka andaza lag jata hain.
Interviewer: Aur aap kaam par toon ho ke jaate hain
Bevdaa: Dekhiya mera ek call center hain. Jab koi gora bahut jyada shor machata hain tab mein phone pe aata hoon aur usse khamosh kar deta hu. Peena mere bahut kaam aata hain.
Interviewer: Aap kyu chahte hain ki daru pe tax na ho?
Bevdaa: Main kehta hu paani, bijlee aur gas par tax badao. Log yeh sab waste karte hain. Aapne kabhi kisiko daru waste karte hue dekha hain. nahin na. esliye.
Interviewer: Aur apko satark shehri award mila?
Bevdaa: Woh actually balam ko milna chahiye. Balam adaat ke anusaar mrs sharma ke khidki ke neeche khada tha. Usne ek aadmi ko khidki se andar ghooste hue dekha. Mrs Sharma ne balam ko kahan tha ki uske pati tour par gaye hain. Usse mrs sharma ki chinta thi aur esliye usne police ko bulaya. Police jab aaye tab unhone chor ko pakda aur merey lakh kehne pe bhi unko saamne khada balam dikhayee nahin diya. Unhone mujhe puraskar diya , mrs sharma ne bhi mujhe kiss diya. Aapki dost ki girlfriend aapko kiss kare toh dost kitna naraj hoga. Balam ne mujhse do deen baat nahin ki.
Interviewer: Aap apna ilaaj kyu nahin karvate? balam aap hain!!
Bevdaa: Agar Balam main hoon. toh woh kaun joh apke peeche khada hain. hi balam!! u also say hi to balam.
Interviewer: Udhar koi nahin hain. Khair aap daru peene ke ek aurat ko chadi se maar rahe the.
Bevdaa: Ooops. Sara sar jhoot iljaam. mere gaadi ke sammne ek bhains chal rahein thi. maine honk mara fir bhi gayee nahin. es liye mein uthra aur usse chadi se marne lag gaya. toh log kehne lag gayee, chodon usko. woh mar jayegi. koi aurat ko bachao. main wahan se bhaag gaya, kyunki wahan log bhains ko aurat kehta hain.pata nahin kya kya karte honge bhains ke saath.
Interviewer: Daru ka kharch kaise uthate hain mehengai ke zamane main.
Bevdaa: Main ek shayar hoon aur shayri karta hoon. Dost khush ho kar peela dete hain.
Interviewer: Wah Wah aap shayar hain toh kuch sunayiye.
Bevdaa: Kya tum mujhe daru pilaoge
Interviewer: Haan Haan Pilaunga.
Bevdaa: Aap jaise log hi humko encourage karte hain. Aur phir hume poochte ho ki daru kyu peete ho? thu..
Interviewer: Sunana hain toh suna
Bevdaa: Ok. Ok.
Insaaf Na Khuda Ne Kiya
Na Kiya Insaaf Kudrat Ne
Umeed Insaaf Ki Insaan Se
Hum Kar Baithe
Toh Aisi Khayi Chot Humane
Ki Sharaabi Ban Baithe
Interviewer: Wah Kya Shahyri .. Aap toh aache shayar hain. Apse milke badi khushi hui. Khuda Hafiz.
Murge Ka Arranged Marriage
Maa: Nahin Nahin. Humari aur humare putra ki badi eecha hain ki nargis mere bete ka naam ka MurgamSutra pehane
Punaiya: Kyu Appko Makhaniyon Main Koi Nahin Mili joh jalfrezi ke ghar pe aagaye
Bansi: Kitna kamata hain aapka beta
Punaiya: Muthi Bhar dane dinnka
Bansi: Baju ka vinod murga, jalfrezi hain , kabhi kabhi seth ke godown puri 2 pound ki rice bag lata hain. usne bhi haath manga hain.
Maa: Chee woh toh paap ki kamayi hain. mere beta toh zameen pe geere hue danon mein se bachata hain. Mera beta humesha haste khelte rehta hain.
Punaiya: Baju ka Murgambo toh humesha har baat per “Murgambo Khush Hua” Kehta hain. usse jyada susheel ladka nahin milaga.
woh aaya th haath mangne. hum ne kahan joh shauhar humesha khush rehta hain uske saath shadi karke kya challenge milake beti ko.
humari nargis ko challenges ka bada shauk ho. she is a winner. Waise Murgambo ki soorat dekhne layak thi jab humne usse na kahan.
usne kahan mein tum sabko dekhlunga. humne kahan haan aana shadi mein mehmaan bannke aur sabko dekhna. hahaha
Maa: Humara shyam pada likha hain
Bansi: Woh Vinod joh MIT gaya tha, Murga Institute of Technology , kabhi suna hain kya aapke bacche se. uska haath bhi humne reject kar diya,
Maa: Kyu
Bansi: GPA kam tha akhri year mein. we want the best of the best.
Maa: Hum usse apne beti ki tarah rakhenge.
Punaiya: Hay Hay kide pade tumhare muh mein. hum kya mar gaye hain, woh humari beti hain. usse naukaron ki jaroorat hain, apne ghar mein malkeen ki tarah rakhna. aisa answer chahiye humko.
Maa: Dekhiya humara beta appki beti se pyar karta hain, usko toh pucchon.
Punaiya: Arre hum uske maa baap hain. hum nargis ke baare mein jyada jante the nargis se bhi. Aur sahej kitna doge
Maa: Dahej!!
Bansi: Haan dahej , hume repeat karne ka time nahin hain. kitna doge.
Maa: Dahej ladke wale denge!!
Bansi: Haan, haan aur kam se kam 20 goni rice ki. Kamal Hain Aap Bahar board nahin padte kya.
Maa: Humari sau pushte bhi nahin laa sakti etna.
Bansi: Abhi hum kya kare eske baare mein?
When Maa told Shyam that his marriage is not possible , he broke out in to a song ..
Sad Murga song:
Zindagi Thi
Uble Ande
Khaye Nahin
Ho gaye Thande
Tere Bagair
Suney Sunday
Lage Mujhko
Ek Jaise
Monday Friday
Friday Monday
Zindagi Thi
Test Cricket
Tere Bagair
Ho gayi
One day
Bowling Khatam
Batting Khatam
Innings Meri
Ho Gayi End.
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Duet:
Murgi: Jalfreeziyon se naa ankhiyan milana
Jalfreeziyon se naa ankhiyan milana
Murga:
Arre Zor Se Bolo
Main Makhani Hu
Arre Pyar Se Bolo
Main Makhani Hu
Murgi: Jalfreeziyon se naa ankhiyan milana
Jalfreeziyon se naa ankhiyan milana
Murga:
Arre Shaan Se Bolo
Main Makhani Hu
Arre Aan Se Bolo
Main Makhani Hu
nargis: mere maa baap meri shaadi tujhse hone nahin denge. woh meri shaadi kisi rahees ghar ke murge ke saath karna chahte hain.
murga: toh hum kya kare
nargis: bhaag jaate hain…
murga: par kahan..
nargis: tum yeh apne dost LOCHANi se kyu nahin poochte
LOCHAN sab se hosiyar , sabse guni, atti shaktishaali aur khoobsoorat murga tha. har murgi ka dil uspar aata tha. nargis ko bhi BANSI bada pasand tha. bas baat sirf itni thi ki BANSI tha gay. uska dil murgambo pe tha.
(woh … lochan se jaake milte…)
murga: lochani ..
lochan: main samajh gaya. tumhe bhagana hain ladki ko aur koi jagah chahiye.
murga: tumko kaise pata.
lochan: mujhe sab pata hain , kunki main hoon lochan.
murga: koi jagah toh batao.
lochan: ek swarg jaisi jagah hain jahan pe murgi ko jabardasti khilate hain. wahan ande dene ke liye tumhe protsahan milta hain. wahan jao.
murga: woh kahan hain
lochan:edhar se 2 mile par.
murga: etni door.
lochan: naale ke baju ka shortcut aur gutter ko follow karte tumhe najdik padega.
murga: jagah ka naam kya hain
lochan: koi bada sa naam hain ‘ chicken slaughter house’
murga: yeh slaater house ka hota hain
lochan: koi angrez ka naam hoga. tu chala jaa be. apne general knowledge mat bada.
(murga aur nargis uss jagah pe chale jaate hain)
nargis: maine etni murgiyan kabhi bhi nahin dekhi
murga: aur sab ki sab khana khake rusht pusht ho gayi
nargis: jagah bhi bahut hain.
murga: yahan hum shaadi karke sansar basayenge.
(suddenly one drunkard who hears alll this .. interrupts them)
vinoo bevda: basayenge. kitne din..
murga: kya matlab
vinoo bevda: abe ueh kasai khana hain, yaan murgiyon ka katl karte hain
murga: toh tum yahan kya kar rahein ho
vinoo bevda: main, mujhe nahin pata. main sabko kehta hoon par sab dana khane mein madhosh hain.
murga: par yeh toh salughter house hain naa. kisi angrez ke naam par.
vinoo bevda: abe german mein saltter house matlab ‘kasai ka ghar’. tum bhaag jao , jis raste aaye ho waise hi nikal jaao.
bevde ke muh se daru ka baas toh tha magar ankoh mein sacchai ka tez pratap tha. turunt murga aur nargis uss ghar se bahar nikale. bahar nikalte hi..unhone ne dekha ki wahan murgambo khada hain..
murgambo: murgambo khush hua
nargis: tum yahan kya kar rahein murgambo bhaiyya
murgambo: tera bhaiyya hoga yeh murga. chal aah mere saath main teri se shaadi manayega.
(murgamba ke baju mein do gunde khade hain, ek ne nargis ki maa ko pakda hain aur ek ne murge ke baap ko)
murga: murgambo hum donon ke daddy kahan hain
murgambo: woh bole ki thandi hain es liye car main hi baithenge, bahar nahin aayenge.
nargis: ok. kya chahte ho
(murgambo murgamsutra nikal kar uski taraf aata hain.)
murgambo: pehenlo mere naam ka murgamsutro.
nargis: nahin.
(etne mein murgambo ko ek ghusa padta hain aur woh donon gunde chillane lagte)
lochan: kya maar lagi naa murgambo baby. kitni baar kahan ladkiyon ka peecha mat kar.
gunda1: police
gunda2: police
(woh donon maaon ko chod ke bhag jaate hain)
police: hum tumhe giraftar karte hain murgambo kidnapping ke ilzaam mein
murgambo: murgambo dukhi hua
nargis: tum yaha kaise bansi
lochan:main nargis ke maa ke zakhmon par namak chidakne ke liye gaya toh wahan maine murgambo ko nikal te dekha.
phir maine murgambo ka peecha kiya toh dekha ki woh aap logon ke maa baap sang yahan tha. maine turant police ko bulaya aur hua happy ending.
nargis: par maire maa baap shaadi nahin hone denge.
Nargis ki maa punaiya:nahin beti humari ankeh khool gayee. dahej thoda kaam denge toh bhi chalega. installments mein bhi chalega.
nargis: maa!!
Nargis ki maa punaiya: matlab nahin denge toh bhi chalega. tumhari khushi sab kuch hain.
nargis: aur daddy
nargis ke daddy bansi: jaisi tumhari maa ki iccha.
nargis: then happy ending
Nargis ki maa punaiya: bas sab ko kehna arrnaged marriage taki yeh sab run away story bahar naa aye
murga: ok maa. toh chalo shaadi karein.
nargis: maa , timur kahan hain.
timur on the road again..
life mein masti hain
masti hain
masti hain
kyunke daru sasti hain
mere ghar ke saamne
hi woh bikti hain
sasti daru peeke
duniya
haseen dikhti hain
(THE END)
Chapter 3: Genie Ki Azaadi
Alladin: Yeh Chirag Mera Hain!!
Havaldar Gawde: Agar yeh chirag tera hain toh tu usse describe kar.
Alladin: Woh Chirag bilkul chirag jaisa dikhta hain.
Havaldar Tawde: Color Bol?
Alladin: Rang utar gaya
Havaldar Gawde: Koi Nishani Bol?
Alladin: Pair par teel
Havaldar Tawde: Abe Teri Biwi Ki Nishani Nahin Poochi. Hume woh pata hain. Ees Chirag Ki Koi Nishani Bol!!
Alladin: On the bottom it is written “Made in China”.
Havaldar Tawde: Mere marathi dost joh baharagav mein rehta uski marathi biwi hain. Unka baccha chinese hua toh doctor ne kahan esme hairangee ki koi baat nahin aaj kal sab kuch china mein banta hain. Bahar gav mein har cheez chinese hain. Ess mein nayee koi baat hain.
Alladin: Sir magar woh mera chirag hain!!
Havaldar Tawde: Tune banaya kya?
Alladin: Mujhe ganga mein nahate waqt mila.
Inspector Kadam: Yeh Antique piece hain aur yeh government yanni ki humari property hain.
Alladin: Toh Mein Chala Yahan Se.
Inspector Kadam: Arre rukh tu Badam Bhai ke naak mein dam kar ke rakha hain. Woh tujhe milna chahte hain.
Alladin: Nahin. Mein Wahan Nahin Jaunga. Woh meri haddi pasli ek karvayega.
Inspector Kadam: Toh Kya Hum Teri Pooja Karenge.
Genie: Aap Mujhse kuch mange ke mujhe chodh kyu nahin dete.
Inspector Kadam: Ess Alladin Ko Chata Maar
(Murga comes out of the lamp and says “Kookdu Koo”)
Inspector Kadam: Yeh Kya Bola?
Genie: Sir Samajh mein nahin aata. Yeh humari boli nahin bola sakta.
Inspector Kadam: Aisa Kya? Abhi hum esse sab kuch bulvate hain.Tawde, Gawde esko pakad kar etna maro ke bolne lag jaye.
( Tawde, Gawde and then even Kadam, Alladin and then also genie start hitting the rooster savagely and just about when it going to die it speaks ” mujhe chodh do. please”)
Inspector Kadam: Dekha humara kamal. Inspector nahin toh main doctor hota. Dr Kadam!! Dr Kadam “Har Marj Ki Dawa’. Tera Naam Kya Hain Murge.
Murga: Illias
Inspector (gives the rooster a slap): Poora Naam Bol
Murga: Illias Murgapuri
Inspector: Baap Nahin Hain Kya Tera?
Murga: Haan Tha.
Inspector: Toh Baap Kaa Naam Bol. Sharam Aati Hain Kya?
Murga: Illias Makhanilal Murgapuri
Inspector: Haan toh makhani ki aulad , kya bolna chahta hain tu
Inspector Kadam: Kya bolna chahta tha illias?
Murga: Yeh genie apko shehenshah bana dega.
Inspector Kadam: Yeh Aloo Bukhara Mujhe Kya Banayega, mein shahenshah hu. Tawde en sabko jeep mein dal aur es murge ko tandoor mein.
Murga: Nahin Sir , please mujhe maat maro
Inspector Kadam: Toh Chal Jeep Mein Beth. Aur Seat Gandi maat karna.
(They all ride to Badam Bhai’s den. Badam Bhai belongs to Oppress Party and is the local MLA. From law’s point of view he is a criminal but for people he is sort of Robin Hood. Inspector Kadam is a big follower of Badam Bhai)
As Kadam enters Badshah Bhai’s den he becomes suspicious as he doesn’t see the regular faces. His suspicions are confirmed by Gawde and Tawde too. Inspector Kadam and Havaldars as they enter the main room , they are pinned down by some people. One of them snatches the lamp from the hands of the Havaldar. Now Kadam looks at the far end of the room he see Badam Bhai and his lieutenants tied down and in place of Badam Bhai , the one who is sitting on the throne is Suttan Bhai, who is Badam Bhai arch rival and a big gangster.
Suttan Bhai: Mujhe chirag dena. Hahaha!
Inspector Kadam: Tumhe Chirag Ke Bare Mein Kaise Pata Chala
Suttan Bhai: Ghansam Bhikari ne mujhe call kiya. Usne sab kuch sun liya.
Inspector Kadam: Ohh woh sai baba ke chitra ke baju mein baithne wala bhikari. Magar usne ney toh kahan ki woh behraa hain. uski biwi usko chodh ke chali gayi aur uss gum mein woh behraa ho gaya.
Suttan Bhai: Koi biwi ke chod ke jaane se bheraa nahin hota. Agar biwi saath main rahen toh admi behraa ho jata hain.
Inspector Kadam: Ohh! I had become suspicious but seeing Sai Baba’s photo I didn’t pursue it. So you came here and captured Badam Bhai so that you can snatch the lamp.
Suttan Bhai: Tu Jitna dikhta hain usse smart hain. (He starts rubbing the lamp and says “Tera Muh Kala”). Nothing happens. Yeh Kya Hain? Password toh sahi hain naa.
Inspector Kadam: Maine password change kar diya tha.
Havaldar: Wah Wah
Badam Bhai: Jiyo mere lal.
Suttan Bhai: In sabko peeton aur khas kar kadam ko. Mujhe password chahiye.
Inspector Kadam: Vaise bhi hum tumhe ek din ke pehle kuch bhi batane wale hain nahin, Humari bhi izzat hain. Log kya bolenge , ek zapad khake kadam sab bola. toh kyu apna time waste karte ho.
Suttan Bhai: In ko bandh kar do room mein.
(All of them are put in one room)
Alladin: Yeh sab aap logon ki galti hain.
Havaldar Gawde: Teri galati hain, hum ne ganpati ke mandal ke liye 500 rupiyaa manga toh tu bola paise nahin kal aa.
Alladin: Haan toh nahin te paise mere paas
Havaldar Tawde: Tu eid ka mutton lata hain toh hum udhar hi khate hain, bhook ho yaa na ho. toh tune paise kyu nahin de.
Alladin: Tab se mein jeb mein yeh cheque leke ghoom rahan hoon 25000 ruppess aap donon ke liye. dekhiye “to:havaldars (gawde and tawde) and inspector kadam” from “alladin” , 25000 only.
Inspector Kadam: Yanni ki mumbai police se mistake hua. hum tere jaise nek dil admi ko galat samjhe. koi baat nahin tu humse maafi mang le , hum tujhe maaf kar denge.
Alladin: sorry.
Inspector Kadam: Badshah bhai hum esse maaf kar rahein hain , aap bhi kijiye
Badshah Bhai: Maaf kiya tereko. Pan kadam saala chirag toh uske paas hain. hum karenge kya?
(Havaldar Tawde, Havaldar Gawde and Inspector Kadam start laughing)
All say in one voice : Asli Chirag Toh Yahan Hain!!
Inspector Kadam: Aur password badalna humko aata hi nahin. Yeh toh maine jhoot bola. Ehh Alladin Edhar Aaa.
Main Password Bhool Gaya.
Alladin: Tere muh Kala
Inspector Kadam: Arre aisa password kyu rakha, mein tere ko abhi ek rapata dene wala tha, accha hua mujhe yaad aaya yehi password hain.
Alladin: Sir aisa password rakhke mein bhoone ki acting karta hu. jab meri biwi mujhe password batati hain toh main uske kaan ke neeche ek lagata hoon. then i say sorry, bada majaaa atta hain.
Inspector Kadam: mainbhi apne computer ka password badal dunga.
(Inspector Kadam rubs the lamp and says the password and out comes the genie)
Genie: Kya Hukum Hain Mere Akka
Inspector Kadam: Suttan aur uske logon ko jail mein dal. Badam Bhai ko satkar ke saath un ke jagah par bitha aur humko yahan se bahar nikaal. Yeh Murge ke liya kuch dana paani leke aa , behosh ho gaya hain.
Genie: Kya app mujhe azaad karoge.
Inspector Kadam: Haan, mumbai police begunnah ko qaid nahin karti. tu azaad hain uske baad. par kaam hone ke baad edhar anna , hume photo shooting karna hain.
Genie: ok. abhi mein suttan ki marke aaya.
Inspector Kadam: Ab mein tu azaad karunga .. jaa azaad ho jaga
Genie: Ok.
Inspector Kadam: Kuch hua nahin kya. bhuchal, bijlee kadakna etc..
Genie: Etna drama nahin. Now I am free.
Inspector Kadam: Chal phir hum sab ke photo shoot. Main bandook leke tere par baithunga , jaisa tera shikaar kiya.
Havaldars: Hum Fishing Rod Leke Aate Hain Taki Hum dikhaye humne macchi ki jagah genie pakda.
Genie: Ok.
Alladin: sorry dost , muhe tujhe azaad karna chahiye tha. lets be friends.
Genie: we will be firends.
Murga: me too
Inspector Kadam: Haan Tu Bhi Merey Tandoori Murge.
Epilogue: Genie helps all these people in their adventures and on weekends they have drinks. They live happily ever after !! Yes, this is fiction.
Balle Kumar Melodies: Sasure
Song: Sasure
Lyrics and English Translation:
Jeevit Ho ( Are you alive? )
Ya Pran Gaaye ( Or your soul has left your body?)
Sasure! (FATHER IN LAW!)
Jeevit Ho ( Are you alive? )
Ya Pran Gaaye ( Or your soul has left your body?)
Sasure! (FATHER IN LAW!)
Aise Na Jao Humko Chod Ke ( Don’t go like this by leaving us)
Bina Vasiyat Mein Naam Likh Ke ( without writing our name in your will)
Aise Na Jao Humko Chod Ke ( Don’t go like this by leaving us)
Bina Vasiyat Mein Naam Likh Keee ( without writing our name in your will)
Sasure! (FATHER IN LAW!)
Tere Ilaaj Pe Kharche Hue The ( For your recovery the money was spent from)
Mere Batwese ( My wallet)
Tere Ilaaj Pe Kharche Hue The ( For your recovery the money was spent from)
Mere Batwese ( My wallet)
Abe Deke Jaa Mujhko Mere Paise ( You!! give me back my money before going)
Sasure! (FATHER IN LAW!)
Abe Deke Jaa Mujhko Mere Paise ( You!! give me back my money before going)
Sasure! (FATHER IN LAW!)
Jeevit Ho ( Are you alive? )
Ya Pran Gaaye ( Or your soul has left your body?)
Balle Kumar Melodies: Kallu Rap
Kallu Rap
Rice Ka Bhav
Gehu Ka Daam
Kaise Afford Kare
Shehri Aam
Aam Ke Bhav
Par Biwi Kurbaan
Jeb Mein Paise Nahin
Jhooti Shaan
Tare Bigade
Mera Kaam
Baap ke will Mein
Padosan Ka Naam
Boss Kare Mera
Kaam Tamam
Tanqwah Aadhi
Dubna Kaam
Traffic Se Hua Mein
Pareshan
Biwi Le Le Roj
Meri Jaan
Bijlee Nahin
Bijlee Ka Bill
Hindi Channel Pe
Fillum Tamil
Har Mein Jaun
Joh Khelu Jua
Use Kiya
Phir Bhi Baccha Hua
Uske Pati Ko Pata Chala
Bacchon Ke shor se hain
sar ka dard
Khane Mein Chicken Nahin
Rice n Curd
Daru Ke Adde Pe
Police ki Raid
Dancer Garam Kare
Bas Don Ka Bed
Udhaar ke paise pe
Latki jaan
Zindagi mein kuch nahin
Meri baat tu maan
Past , Present , Future
Lage ek saman
No water is coming from the tap
This is Kallu Rap Baba , this is kallu rap.
Chapter 2 – Genie Ki Kahani
jadugar jadu kare duniya pepar vash mein na kar paye apni biwiraslila chal rahein hain actor ke saathaur jadugar dekhta rahan tv
mantar main bolutoh aisa bhed kholualu bann jaya bhalubhalu ka kya ho jaya mujhe pata nahipar tujhe jinn baneka palu
Chapter 1 – Genie Se Mulaqat
jab hua kabhi kisi qaidi ko gudde me dardtab yaad aaye usse eess area ka ek hi mardjoh kare crime ka kaam tamamlifebuoy naa ho toh use kare hamampaap ki duniya ka nashkarneki khayi he kasamkadam ..kadam ..inspector kadam
Tawde GawdeTawde GawdeHain Yeh Donon JudwaaPar Ek Shakl Ke NahinEnse Darke Begunah Rahta Hain BegunahKare Na Woh Koi GunahMurder Ke pehle pakade criminalAur Chori Ke Pehle Hain Chor AndarPankaj TawdePankaj GawdeHeh hain humare famousaur sabke pyareaur raj dulaarehavaldarrakshaktawde gawdetawde gawde
Molana Solana
Kaafir Chata Hain
Hum Na Pakde Usko
Bhagte Rahein
He He Ho Ho
How to recognize a Marathi Lawyer?
He would say “Aai Shapath”(Mother Promise) before or after everything he says or the only thing that comes out of his mouth is Aai Shapath for the whole day. The lawyer will not take any case that he considers as risky and thats like anything having less than 10 witnesses is risky for him. His favorite hero is Amol Palekar.He will insist on taking the payment first and he takes his fee in Vada Pavs, because the value of Vada Pavs never goes down. If he wins the case for you then he will take the credit and if he looses then he will protest that everyone in Maharashtra should know Marathi.
Foreign Policy
Euro and China
In the frying panSouth Asia, Korea and Japan
Is the Trash CanBlow the Arabs up
And England will always suck upSouth America will take it laying down
And Canada will think it wears the crownGulf for oil
In Central Asia for bases we toilRussia be tumbled
Iran will be humbledAfrica is always in my hand
And is as docile as Australia and New ZealandOur policy is always right
If you oppose we fightIf we are good
You look good
And we make you invest in Coke , Weapons
and Hollywood
