Balle Kumar's Universe

1) One Bihari To Another

Pakki Sadak Lagne Lage Kacchi

Jab Padosi Ki Biwi Lage Acchi

2) A student says to God:

Mushkil mein jab mein hota hoon

Toh naam leta hoon tera

Kyuu meri maa leta hain?

Baap hain naa mera!!

3) A Man says to another man who is carrying Ipad:

Ipad Leke Ghoomta Hain Aaj Kal

Jab Bank Balance Hoga Zero

4) One brother says to another:

Etni Biwiyan Leke Ghoomta Hain

Ohh Devki Nandan

Maza(Anand) Leti Hain Aapse

Aur Humse Raksha Bandhan

5) A desperate guy says to god:

Cigarette Nahi Toh

Bidi Bhi Chalegi

Ladki Nahi Toh

Lady Bhi Chalegi

6) A man tired of Raksha Bandhan says:

Naa mein hindu

Naa musalmaan

Naa sikh Naa isai

Aur naa hoo main kisi ladki ka bhai

7) A man having an affair with a Tamilian says:

Piyaar Jyada Na Do

Toh Do Thoda

Shaadi Mujhse se karlo

Apne pati ko kaho PODA

8) A Pathan whispers to a school boy:

Nadha Tight Band Le

Ab tujhe le Jaunga KABUL

9) A man says to his wife commenting upon their son:

Bad Luck se Hota Hai

Har Aadmi Majboor

Beech Boya Aam Ka

Aur Nikala Khajoor

 10) Shopkeeper to a person having an affair with his Sis In Law:

Do Boond Chlorofrom Ke

Aur Aise So Jayegi Biwi

Leke Jaana Phir Saali Ko

Simla, Kullu aur Manali

11) Indian ascetic to Alexander the Great:

Ohh Sikander

Tera Raaj Hain Aisa

Ki Bandar Khaye Angoor

Aur Anpad Kamaye Paisa

12) A frustrated servant to his owner:

Meri Baat Maan Tu

Mein Tere Bacche Ka Baap Hu

13) A drunkard at a bar

Daru peene se liver kharab ho jata hain

Par jab dil tooth ta hain toh jeena haram ho jaata hain

14) A girl to a guy who is always proposing her

Suicide Suicide Kehta Hain

Abey Bandh Kar Tera Natak

15) A man to a another guy who recently got married

Bin Barsaat Ke Naach Mat

Ohh Rang Birangi Mor

Eeth Leke Marunga A

Aur Naa Karega Koi Shor

16) Chuuttan Ki Maa

Ohh Chuttan Ki Maa

Par please Mujhe etna mat pakaa

17) A Hindu thinking about his Muslim Neighbor

Arre Suleiman meri jaan

Karde ees kaafir par ek ehsaan

18) To Rangeela From a Parsi Gentleman

Arre Rangeela

19) Man suspecting his wife is having an affair with the domestic help

Kaise bharosa rakhu duniya par

Jab biwi ho aisi

Bache ko naam du mein

Aur uski shakal naukar jaisi

20) A man telling another that man the current girlfriend that he is having was his ex

Kamal Ki Ladki

Lagi Tere Haath

21) A man bored of another man’s preaching

Bandh Kar Apne Life Ka Funda

Jaise Nigale Saap Murgi Ka Anda

22) A person waiting for his beloved

Doob doob ke tere pyar mein

Poora doob gaya mein

Rukh rukh ke tere liye

Buddha bangaya mein

23) A boss who broke off with his wife to marry his secretary

Marke Mere Dil Pe Pyar Ka Arrow

Bolti Hain Tommorrow Tommorrow Tommorrow

 24) A man to his wife on a romantic night

Kaali Kaali Si Hain Raat

Bana Samosa Chaat

25) A software engineer singing

Mujhe Apna Kaam Deta Hain

Ya Khuda Tu Kya Boss Sabhi Ko Deta Hain

26) A girl confessing to a boy about her love

Tu Aisa Basa Hain

Mere Dil Ke Andar

Jaise Jamun Ke Ped Par

Relaxed Baitha Hain Koi Bandar

27) A man introducing a singer

Sonu Nigamji aise singer hain jo

Par bina feelings ke gaate nahin hain

 28) A man to another

Bada shaktishali hain tu

Kitni kaali hain zabaan teri

29) A man to his wife

Varna mirchi ki pudiya hain tu

 30) A Man to his girlfriend

Chanda jaise muk pe

Aankeh jaise tare 

Dekh ke tera thobda

Chamkeh merey sitare

31) A poet writes about Apsaras

Pagal ho gaya yaa aids se mara

 32) A man about his boss

Arre boss meri leta hain

Ki salary ki bajay celery deta hain

33) A storyteller says

Jab Mein Sunata Hoon Meri Jubani Teri Kahani

Saas Ke Maut Par Bahu Rani

34) A man tells to his wife

Tere chehre ko dekhe ke loot gaya main

Pathar Se Tel Nikalne mein Juth gaya mein

35) A man tells his girlfriend

Yeh Shaam Hain Suhaani

Main Hoon Tera Bajirao , Tu Meri Mastaani

36) A fat man collapses after seeing the hotel bill

Dekhte hi gir gaya table pe

Jab dekha usne dinner ka bill

Tab pata chala hume

Ki sand ki body mein tha mendak ka dill

37) The marriage

Yeh pagal ho gaya

Shaadi purani ho gayi

38) Birthday!!

Janamdin mubarakhon , mubarakhon kehte hain

Yeh kya khushi ki baat hain

39) Balding man says

Thode udh gaye

Yeh mere baal hain

40) one roommate to another who is taking long baths

Qayamat ki ghadi aa gayi hain

Bahar Nikal Baba, Muzhe bathroom jaana hain

41)  About a harrassed husband

Hosiyar Baccha

Ab Dekhe Bas TV

42) Life mein RIKS:

Riks Lene Par Doston

Toh Kabhi use saap kha jaata hain

 43) Bechare Pati ne tang aakar patni ka insalute kiya:

Lucky hain woh jinki shaadi hui

Kisi chudail se

Humari ho gayee

Kisike rakhel se

44) A man tells his friend to forget about her ex

Joh Chodh Ke Chala Gaya

Bas Milti Hain Tumhari Thokar

45) A lament

Peechle janam ke paapon ka

Aur kehta hain aake mandar mein mein bajua taali

46) A dumped lover says:

Samajh Naa Aayi Mujhe Yeh Baat

saans meri atke

khoon ubhle

man umat kar

fefde mein machle

kab tak bachelor banne

hum rahein latke

aaja bahon mein aakar

thode dikha