Archive for the ‘Urdu’ Category
Murge Ka Arranged Marriage
Maa: Nahin Nahin. Humari aur humare putra ki badi eecha hain ki nargis mere bete ka naam ka MurgamSutra pehane
Punaiya: Kyu Appko Makhaniyon Main Koi Nahin Mili joh jalfrezi ke ghar pe aagaye
Bansi: Kitna kamata hain aapka beta
Punaiya: Muthi Bhar dane dinnka
Bansi: Baju ka vinod murga, jalfrezi hain , kabhi kabhi seth ke godown puri 2 pound ki rice bag lata hain. usne bhi haath manga hain.
Maa: Chee woh toh paap ki kamayi hain. mere beta toh zameen pe geere hue danon mein se bachata hain. Mera beta humesha haste khelte rehta hain.
Punaiya: Baju ka Murgambo toh humesha har baat per “Murgambo Khush Hua” Kehta hain. usse jyada susheel ladka nahin milaga.
woh aaya th haath mangne. hum ne kahan joh shauhar humesha khush rehta hain uske saath shadi karke kya challenge milake beti ko.
humari nargis ko challenges ka bada shauk ho. she is a winner. Waise Murgambo ki soorat dekhne layak thi jab humne usse na kahan.
usne kahan mein tum sabko dekhlunga. humne kahan haan aana shadi mein mehmaan bannke aur sabko dekhna. hahaha
Maa: Humara shyam pada likha hain
Bansi: Woh Vinod joh MIT gaya tha, Murga Institute of Technology , kabhi suna hain kya aapke bacche se. uska haath bhi humne reject kar diya,
Maa: Kyu
Bansi: GPA kam tha akhri year mein. we want the best of the best.
Maa: Hum usse apne beti ki tarah rakhenge.
Punaiya: Hay Hay kide pade tumhare muh mein. hum kya mar gaye hain, woh humari beti hain. usse naukaron ki jaroorat hain, apne ghar mein malkeen ki tarah rakhna. aisa answer chahiye humko.
Maa: Dekhiya humara beta appki beti se pyar karta hain, usko toh pucchon.
Punaiya: Arre hum uske maa baap hain. hum nargis ke baare mein jyada jante the nargis se bhi. Aur sahej kitna doge
Maa: Dahej!!
Bansi: Haan dahej , hume repeat karne ka time nahin hain. kitna doge.
Maa: Dahej ladke wale denge!!
Bansi: Haan, haan aur kam se kam 20 goni rice ki. Kamal Hain Aap Bahar board nahin padte kya.
Maa: Humari sau pushte bhi nahin laa sakti etna.
Bansi: Abhi hum kya kare eske baare mein?
When Maa told Shyam that his marriage is not possible , he broke out in to a song ..
Sad Murga song:
Zindagi Thi
Uble Ande
Khaye Nahin
Ho gaye Thande
Tere Bagair
Suney Sunday
Lage Mujhko
Ek Jaise
Monday Friday
Friday Monday
Zindagi Thi
Test Cricket
Tere Bagair
Ho gayi
One day
Bowling Khatam
Batting Khatam
Innings Meri
Ho Gayi End.
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Duet:
Murgi: Jalfreeziyon se naa ankhiyan milana
Jalfreeziyon se naa ankhiyan milana
Murga:
Arre Zor Se Bolo
Main Makhani Hu
Arre Pyar Se Bolo
Main Makhani Hu
Murgi: Jalfreeziyon se naa ankhiyan milana
Jalfreeziyon se naa ankhiyan milana
Murga:
Arre Shaan Se Bolo
Main Makhani Hu
Arre Aan Se Bolo
Main Makhani Hu
nargis: mere maa baap meri shaadi tujhse hone nahin denge. woh meri shaadi kisi rahees ghar ke murge ke saath karna chahte hain.
murga: toh hum kya kare
nargis: bhaag jaate hain…
murga: par kahan..
nargis: tum yeh apne dost LOCHANi se kyu nahin poochte
LOCHAN sab se hosiyar , sabse guni, atti shaktishaali aur khoobsoorat murga tha. har murgi ka dil uspar aata tha. nargis ko bhi BANSI bada pasand tha. bas baat sirf itni thi ki BANSI tha gay. uska dil murgambo pe tha.
(woh … lochan se jaake milte…)
murga: lochani ..
lochan: main samajh gaya. tumhe bhagana hain ladki ko aur koi jagah chahiye.
murga: tumko kaise pata.
lochan: mujhe sab pata hain , kunki main hoon lochan.
murga: koi jagah toh batao.
lochan: ek swarg jaisi jagah hain jahan pe murgi ko jabardasti khilate hain. wahan ande dene ke liye tumhe protsahan milta hain. wahan jao.
murga: woh kahan hain
lochan:edhar se 2 mile par.
murga: etni door.
lochan: naale ke baju ka shortcut aur gutter ko follow karte tumhe najdik padega.
murga: jagah ka naam kya hain
lochan: koi bada sa naam hain ‘ chicken slaughter house’
murga: yeh slaater house ka hota hain
lochan: koi angrez ka naam hoga. tu chala jaa be. apne general knowledge mat bada.
(murga aur nargis uss jagah pe chale jaate hain)
nargis: maine etni murgiyan kabhi bhi nahin dekhi
murga: aur sab ki sab khana khake rusht pusht ho gayi
nargis: jagah bhi bahut hain.
murga: yahan hum shaadi karke sansar basayenge.
(suddenly one drunkard who hears alll this .. interrupts them)
vinoo bevda: basayenge. kitne din..
murga: kya matlab
vinoo bevda: abe ueh kasai khana hain, yaan murgiyon ka katl karte hain
murga: toh tum yahan kya kar rahein ho
vinoo bevda: main, mujhe nahin pata. main sabko kehta hoon par sab dana khane mein madhosh hain.
murga: par yeh toh salughter house hain naa. kisi angrez ke naam par.
vinoo bevda: abe german mein saltter house matlab ‘kasai ka ghar’. tum bhaag jao , jis raste aaye ho waise hi nikal jaao.
bevde ke muh se daru ka baas toh tha magar ankoh mein sacchai ka tez pratap tha. turunt murga aur nargis uss ghar se bahar nikale. bahar nikalte hi..unhone ne dekha ki wahan murgambo khada hain..
murgambo: murgambo khush hua
nargis: tum yahan kya kar rahein murgambo bhaiyya
murgambo: tera bhaiyya hoga yeh murga. chal aah mere saath main teri se shaadi manayega.
(murgamba ke baju mein do gunde khade hain, ek ne nargis ki maa ko pakda hain aur ek ne murge ke baap ko)
murga: murgambo hum donon ke daddy kahan hain
murgambo: woh bole ki thandi hain es liye car main hi baithenge, bahar nahin aayenge.
nargis: ok. kya chahte ho
(murgambo murgamsutra nikal kar uski taraf aata hain.)
murgambo: pehenlo mere naam ka murgamsutro.
nargis: nahin.
(etne mein murgambo ko ek ghusa padta hain aur woh donon gunde chillane lagte)
lochan: kya maar lagi naa murgambo baby. kitni baar kahan ladkiyon ka peecha mat kar.
gunda1: police
gunda2: police
(woh donon maaon ko chod ke bhag jaate hain)
police: hum tumhe giraftar karte hain murgambo kidnapping ke ilzaam mein
murgambo: murgambo dukhi hua
nargis: tum yaha kaise bansi
lochan:main nargis ke maa ke zakhmon par namak chidakne ke liye gaya toh wahan maine murgambo ko nikal te dekha.
phir maine murgambo ka peecha kiya toh dekha ki woh aap logon ke maa baap sang yahan tha. maine turant police ko bulaya aur hua happy ending.
nargis: par maire maa baap shaadi nahin hone denge.
Nargis ki maa punaiya:nahin beti humari ankeh khool gayee. dahej thoda kaam denge toh bhi chalega. installments mein bhi chalega.
nargis: maa!!
Nargis ki maa punaiya: matlab nahin denge toh bhi chalega. tumhari khushi sab kuch hain.
nargis: aur daddy
nargis ke daddy bansi: jaisi tumhari maa ki iccha.
nargis: then happy ending
Nargis ki maa punaiya: bas sab ko kehna arrnaged marriage taki yeh sab run away story bahar naa aye
murga: ok maa. toh chalo shaadi karein.
nargis: maa , timur kahan hain.
timur on the road again..
life mein masti hain
masti hain
masti hain
kyunke daru sasti hain
mere ghar ke saamne
hi woh bikti hain
sasti daru peeke
duniya
haseen dikhti hain
(THE END)
Chapter 3: Genie Ki Azaadi
Alladin: Yeh Chirag Mera Hain!!
Havaldar Gawde: Agar yeh chirag tera hain toh tu usse describe kar.
Alladin: Woh Chirag bilkul chirag jaisa dikhta hain.
Havaldar Tawde: Color Bol?
Alladin: Rang utar gaya
Havaldar Gawde: Koi Nishani Bol?
Alladin: Pair par teel
Havaldar Tawde: Abe Teri Biwi Ki Nishani Nahin Poochi. Hume woh pata hain. Ees Chirag Ki Koi Nishani Bol!!
Alladin: On the bottom it is written “Made in China”.
Havaldar Tawde: Mere marathi dost joh baharagav mein rehta uski marathi biwi hain. Unka baccha chinese hua toh doctor ne kahan esme hairangee ki koi baat nahin aaj kal sab kuch china mein banta hain. Bahar gav mein har cheez chinese hain. Ess mein nayee koi baat hain.
Alladin: Sir magar woh mera chirag hain!!
Havaldar Tawde: Tune banaya kya?
Alladin: Mujhe ganga mein nahate waqt mila.
Inspector Kadam: Yeh Antique piece hain aur yeh government yanni ki humari property hain.
Alladin: Toh Mein Chala Yahan Se.
Inspector Kadam: Arre rukh tu Badam Bhai ke naak mein dam kar ke rakha hain. Woh tujhe milna chahte hain.
Alladin: Nahin. Mein Wahan Nahin Jaunga. Woh meri haddi pasli ek karvayega.
Inspector Kadam: Toh Kya Hum Teri Pooja Karenge.
Genie: Aap Mujhse kuch mange ke mujhe chodh kyu nahin dete.
Inspector Kadam: Ess Alladin Ko Chata Maar
(Murga comes out of the lamp and says “Kookdu Koo”)
Inspector Kadam: Yeh Kya Bola?
Genie: Sir Samajh mein nahin aata. Yeh humari boli nahin bola sakta.
Inspector Kadam: Aisa Kya? Abhi hum esse sab kuch bulvate hain.Tawde, Gawde esko pakad kar etna maro ke bolne lag jaye.
( Tawde, Gawde and then even Kadam, Alladin and then also genie start hitting the rooster savagely and just about when it going to die it speaks ” mujhe chodh do. please”)
Inspector Kadam: Dekha humara kamal. Inspector nahin toh main doctor hota. Dr Kadam!! Dr Kadam “Har Marj Ki Dawa’. Tera Naam Kya Hain Murge.
Murga: Illias
Inspector (gives the rooster a slap): Poora Naam Bol
Murga: Illias Murgapuri
Inspector: Baap Nahin Hain Kya Tera?
Murga: Haan Tha.
Inspector: Toh Baap Kaa Naam Bol. Sharam Aati Hain Kya?
Murga: Illias Makhanilal Murgapuri
Inspector: Haan toh makhani ki aulad , kya bolna chahta hain tu
Inspector Kadam: Kya bolna chahta tha illias?
Murga: Yeh genie apko shehenshah bana dega.
Inspector Kadam: Yeh Aloo Bukhara Mujhe Kya Banayega, mein shahenshah hu. Tawde en sabko jeep mein dal aur es murge ko tandoor mein.
Murga: Nahin Sir , please mujhe maat maro
Inspector Kadam: Toh Chal Jeep Mein Beth. Aur Seat Gandi maat karna.
(They all ride to Badam Bhai’s den. Badam Bhai belongs to Oppress Party and is the local MLA. From law’s point of view he is a criminal but for people he is sort of Robin Hood. Inspector Kadam is a big follower of Badam Bhai)
As Kadam enters Badshah Bhai’s den he becomes suspicious as he doesn’t see the regular faces. His suspicions are confirmed by Gawde and Tawde too. Inspector Kadam and Havaldars as they enter the main room , they are pinned down by some people. One of them snatches the lamp from the hands of the Havaldar. Now Kadam looks at the far end of the room he see Badam Bhai and his lieutenants tied down and in place of Badam Bhai , the one who is sitting on the throne is Suttan Bhai, who is Badam Bhai arch rival and a big gangster.
Suttan Bhai: Mujhe chirag dena. Hahaha!
Inspector Kadam: Tumhe Chirag Ke Bare Mein Kaise Pata Chala
Suttan Bhai: Ghansam Bhikari ne mujhe call kiya. Usne sab kuch sun liya.
Inspector Kadam: Ohh woh sai baba ke chitra ke baju mein baithne wala bhikari. Magar usne ney toh kahan ki woh behraa hain. uski biwi usko chodh ke chali gayi aur uss gum mein woh behraa ho gaya.
Suttan Bhai: Koi biwi ke chod ke jaane se bheraa nahin hota. Agar biwi saath main rahen toh admi behraa ho jata hain.
Inspector Kadam: Ohh! I had become suspicious but seeing Sai Baba’s photo I didn’t pursue it. So you came here and captured Badam Bhai so that you can snatch the lamp.
Suttan Bhai: Tu Jitna dikhta hain usse smart hain. (He starts rubbing the lamp and says “Tera Muh Kala”). Nothing happens. Yeh Kya Hain? Password toh sahi hain naa.
Inspector Kadam: Maine password change kar diya tha.
Havaldar: Wah Wah
Badam Bhai: Jiyo mere lal.
Suttan Bhai: In sabko peeton aur khas kar kadam ko. Mujhe password chahiye.
Inspector Kadam: Vaise bhi hum tumhe ek din ke pehle kuch bhi batane wale hain nahin, Humari bhi izzat hain. Log kya bolenge , ek zapad khake kadam sab bola. toh kyu apna time waste karte ho.
Suttan Bhai: In ko bandh kar do room mein.
(All of them are put in one room)
Alladin: Yeh sab aap logon ki galti hain.
Havaldar Gawde: Teri galati hain, hum ne ganpati ke mandal ke liye 500 rupiyaa manga toh tu bola paise nahin kal aa.
Alladin: Haan toh nahin te paise mere paas
Havaldar Tawde: Tu eid ka mutton lata hain toh hum udhar hi khate hain, bhook ho yaa na ho. toh tune paise kyu nahin de.
Alladin: Tab se mein jeb mein yeh cheque leke ghoom rahan hoon 25000 ruppess aap donon ke liye. dekhiye “to:havaldars (gawde and tawde) and inspector kadam” from “alladin” , 25000 only.
Inspector Kadam: Yanni ki mumbai police se mistake hua. hum tere jaise nek dil admi ko galat samjhe. koi baat nahin tu humse maafi mang le , hum tujhe maaf kar denge.
Alladin: sorry.
Inspector Kadam: Badshah bhai hum esse maaf kar rahein hain , aap bhi kijiye
Badshah Bhai: Maaf kiya tereko. Pan kadam saala chirag toh uske paas hain. hum karenge kya?
(Havaldar Tawde, Havaldar Gawde and Inspector Kadam start laughing)
All say in one voice : Asli Chirag Toh Yahan Hain!!
Inspector Kadam: Aur password badalna humko aata hi nahin. Yeh toh maine jhoot bola. Ehh Alladin Edhar Aaa.
Main Password Bhool Gaya.
Alladin: Tere muh Kala
Inspector Kadam: Arre aisa password kyu rakha, mein tere ko abhi ek rapata dene wala tha, accha hua mujhe yaad aaya yehi password hain.
Alladin: Sir aisa password rakhke mein bhoone ki acting karta hu. jab meri biwi mujhe password batati hain toh main uske kaan ke neeche ek lagata hoon. then i say sorry, bada majaaa atta hain.
Inspector Kadam: mainbhi apne computer ka password badal dunga.
(Inspector Kadam rubs the lamp and says the password and out comes the genie)
Genie: Kya Hukum Hain Mere Akka
Inspector Kadam: Suttan aur uske logon ko jail mein dal. Badam Bhai ko satkar ke saath un ke jagah par bitha aur humko yahan se bahar nikaal. Yeh Murge ke liya kuch dana paani leke aa , behosh ho gaya hain.
Genie: Kya app mujhe azaad karoge.
Inspector Kadam: Haan, mumbai police begunnah ko qaid nahin karti. tu azaad hain uske baad. par kaam hone ke baad edhar anna , hume photo shooting karna hain.
Genie: ok. abhi mein suttan ki marke aaya.
Inspector Kadam: Ab mein tu azaad karunga .. jaa azaad ho jaga
Genie: Ok.
Inspector Kadam: Kuch hua nahin kya. bhuchal, bijlee kadakna etc..
Genie: Etna drama nahin. Now I am free.
Inspector Kadam: Chal phir hum sab ke photo shoot. Main bandook leke tere par baithunga , jaisa tera shikaar kiya.
Havaldars: Hum Fishing Rod Leke Aate Hain Taki Hum dikhaye humne macchi ki jagah genie pakda.
Genie: Ok.
Alladin: sorry dost , muhe tujhe azaad karna chahiye tha. lets be friends.
Genie: we will be firends.
Murga: me too
Inspector Kadam: Haan Tu Bhi Merey Tandoori Murge.
Epilogue: Genie helps all these people in their adventures and on weekends they have drinks. They live happily ever after !! Yes, this is fiction.
Balle Kumar Melodies: Naach Rahan Obama
Varna Fekh Ke Maru
Balle Kumar Melodies: Taklon Ka Gaana
This is a song in Hindi in which a bald man laments about hair loss:
Duayen kaam nahin aati
( Prayers won’t help.)
Koi tel bhi kaam nahin aataa
(No oil is going to help.)
Sar ki baal udh gaye toh
(Once the hair on the head have gone.)
Khuda bhi kaam nahin aata
( Even God is of no help.)
Kuch Nahin Toh Bal Hain
(If not anything but atleast I have hair.)
Kehke Khush The
( I used to say that and be happy.)
Woh Bhi Chale Gaye
(Even they have gone now.)
Kal tak the hare bhare aur gade
( Till yesterday they were healthy and so firmly entrenched.)
Aaj kaise woh ujadh gaye
(How did they get uprooted today?)
Aisi kya khatah hui humse
(What wrong did I do?)
Sanam kyu rooth gaye
(Why my dear got angry with me?)
Ohh zulfon wale parinde
( Ohh man with long tresses.)
Khol de raaz zulfon ka
( Reveal the secret of your tresses.)
Varna sunna padega tujhko
( If you don’t do that then you will have hear.)
Gaana hum taklon ka
( Song of bald people.)
Balle Kumar Melodies: Sasure
Song: Sasure
Lyrics and English Translation:
Jeevit Ho ( Are you alive? )
Ya Pran Gaaye ( Or your soul has left your body?)
Sasure! (FATHER IN LAW!)
Jeevit Ho ( Are you alive? )
Ya Pran Gaaye ( Or your soul has left your body?)
Sasure! (FATHER IN LAW!)
Aise Na Jao Humko Chod Ke ( Don’t go like this by leaving us)
Bina Vasiyat Mein Naam Likh Ke ( without writing our name in your will)
Aise Na Jao Humko Chod Ke ( Don’t go like this by leaving us)
Bina Vasiyat Mein Naam Likh Keee ( without writing our name in your will)
Sasure! (FATHER IN LAW!)
Tere Ilaaj Pe Kharche Hue The ( For your recovery the money was spent from)
Mere Batwese ( My wallet)
Tere Ilaaj Pe Kharche Hue The ( For your recovery the money was spent from)
Mere Batwese ( My wallet)
Abe Deke Jaa Mujhko Mere Paise ( You!! give me back my money before going)
Sasure! (FATHER IN LAW!)
Abe Deke Jaa Mujhko Mere Paise ( You!! give me back my money before going)
Sasure! (FATHER IN LAW!)
Jeevit Ho ( Are you alive? )
Ya Pran Gaaye ( Or your soul has left your body?)
Balle Kumar Melodies: Shabnam Chachi
Lyrics and English Translation:
Sawaal Hain (Have a question?)
Jawab Chahiye (Want an answer)
Jawabon Ki Bas Ek Hi Chabi (All questions have just one key)
Shabnam Chachi (Shabnam Aunty)
Shabnam Chachi (Shabnam Aunty)
Tumko Hain Pareshani (You have a problem)
Raaton Ki Neend Hain Ud Jaani (You can’t sleep at night)
Khwabon Ki Bas Ek Hi Chabi (There is only one key to your dreams)
Shabnam Chachi (Shabnam Aunty)
Oh Shabnam Chachi (Oh Shabnam Aunty)
Balle Kumar Melodies: Kallu Rap
Kallu Rap
Rice Ka Bhav
Gehu Ka Daam
Kaise Afford Kare
Shehri Aam
Aam Ke Bhav
Par Biwi Kurbaan
Jeb Mein Paise Nahin
Jhooti Shaan
Tare Bigade
Mera Kaam
Baap ke will Mein
Padosan Ka Naam
Boss Kare Mera
Kaam Tamam
Tanqwah Aadhi
Dubna Kaam
Traffic Se Hua Mein
Pareshan
Biwi Le Le Roj
Meri Jaan
Bijlee Nahin
Bijlee Ka Bill
Hindi Channel Pe
Fillum Tamil
Har Mein Jaun
Joh Khelu Jua
Use Kiya
Phir Bhi Baccha Hua
Uske Pati Ko Pata Chala
Bacchon Ke shor se hain
sar ka dard
Khane Mein Chicken Nahin
Rice n Curd
Daru Ke Adde Pe
Police ki Raid
Dancer Garam Kare
Bas Don Ka Bed
Udhaar ke paise pe
Latki jaan
Zindagi mein kuch nahin
Meri baat tu maan
Past , Present , Future
Lage ek saman
No water is coming from the tap
This is Kallu Rap Baba , this is kallu rap.
Balle Kumar Melodies: Shaq
Time Par Jab Milta Hain Mujhe Khanaa..
Shayari Qawwali and Gaana Shana Corner
1) One Bihari To Another
Pakki Sadak Lagne Lage Kacchi
Jab Padosi Ki Biwi Lage Acchi
2) A student says to God:
Mushkil mein jab mein hota hoon
Toh naam leta hoon tera
Kyuu meri maa leta hain?
Baap hain naa mera!!
3) A Man says to another man who is carrying Ipad:
Ipad Leke Ghoomta Hain Aaj Kal
Toh Samajhna Naa Khudko Hero
Shakl Ho Jayegi Jaise Fati Chappal
Jab Bank Balance Hoga Zero
4) One brother says to another:
Etni Biwiyan Leke Ghoomta Hain
Ohh Devki Nandan
Maza(Anand) Leti Hain Aapse
Aur Humse Raksha Bandhan
5) A desperate guy says to god:
Cigarette Nahi Toh
Bidi Bhi Chalegi
Ladki Nahi Toh
Lady Bhi Chalegi
6) A man tired of Raksha Bandhan says:
Naa mein hindu
Naa musalmaan
Naa sikh Naa isai
Aur naa hoo main kisi ladki ka bhai
7) A man having an affair with a Tamilian says:
Piyaar Jyada Na Do
Toh Do Thoda
Shaadi Mujhse se karlo
Apne pati ko kaho PODA
8) A Pathan whispers to a school boy:
Nadha Tight Band Le
Na Jaana Akele School
Dil tujh pe agaya hain
Ab tujhe le Jaunga KABUL
9) A man says to his wife commenting upon their son:
Bad Luck se Hota Hai
Har Aadmi Majboor
Beech Boya Aam Ka
Aur Nikala Khajoor
10) Shopkeeper to a person having an affair with his Sis In Law:
Do Boond Chlorofrom Ke
Aur Aise So Jayegi Biwi
Leke Jaana Phir Saali Ko
Simla, Kullu aur Manali
11) Indian ascetic to Alexander the Great:
Ohh Sikander
Tera Raaj Hain Aisa
Ki Bandar Khaye Angoor
Aur Anpad Kamaye Paisa
12) A frustrated servant to his owner:
Meri Baat Maan Tu
Mein Kya Anpad Hu?
Apni Aukad Jaan Tu
Mein Tere Bacche Ka Baap Hu
13) A drunkard at a bar
Daru peene se liver kharab ho jata hain
Dava peene se bheja kharab ho jata hain
Par jab dil tooth ta hain toh jeena haram ho jaata hain
14) A girl to a guy who is always proposing her
Suicide Suicide Kehta Hain
Abey Kabhi Toh Fande Se Latak
Mere Har Saheli Se Yehi Kehta Hain
Abey Bandh Kar Tera Natak
15) A man to a another guy who recently got married
Bin Barsaat Ke Naach Mat
Ohh Rang Birangi Mor
Eeth Leke Marunga A
Aur Naa Karega Koi Shor
16) Chuuttan Ki Maa
Ohh Chuttan Ki Maa
Zara Paas Toh Aaa
Paas Aake
Ek Sweet Sa Gaana Ga
Gaana Nahi Aaata
Toh Muskuraa
Woh Bhi Nahi Aaata
Toh Phookat Ka Khana Kha
Par please Mujhe etna mat pakaa
17) A Hindu thinking about his Muslim Neighbor
Arre Suleiman meri jaan
Bas Ek Din Jaane De
Apni Beti Ko Bina Burkha Pehne
Karde ees kaafir par ek ehsaan
18) To Rangeela From a Parsi Gentleman
Arre Rangeela
Dekhke Mujhe Akela
Tune Sunaye Ek Ganna
Laga Mujha Sureela
Par Hua Mera Screw Dheela
19) Man suspecting his wife is having an affair with the domestic help
Kaise bharosa rakhu duniya par
Jab biwi ho aisi
Bache ko naam du mein
Aur uski shakal naukar jaisi
20) A man telling another that man the current girlfriend that he is having was his ex
Kamal Ki Ladki
Lagi Tere Haath
Trailer Mere Saath
Aur picture tere saath
21) A man bored of another man’s preaching
Bandh Kar Apne Life Ka Funda
Funda Sunke Ho Gaya Mera Badan Thanda
Aur aisa nigala tune mera bheja
Jaise Nigale Saap Murgi Ka Anda
22) A person waiting for his beloved
Doob doob ke tere pyar mein
Poora doob gaya mein
Rukh rukh ke tere liye
Buddha bangaya mein
23) A boss who broke off with his wife to marry his secretary
Marke Mere Dil Pe Pyar Ka Arrow
Deke Mere Biwi Ko Judai Ka Sorrow
Roj Jab Shaadi Kab Karogi Puchta Hu Toh
Bolti Hain Tommorrow Tommorrow Tommorrow
24) A man to his wife on a romantic night
Kaali Kaali Si Hain Raat
Ho Rahi Hain Barsaat
Chal Bhag Kitchen Mein Saali
Bana Samosa Chaat
25) A software engineer singing
Mujhe Apna Kaam Deta Hain
Mera Inaam Cheen Ke Leta Hain
Mujhe Bade Dukh Deta Hain
Ya Khuda Tu Kya Boss Sabhi Ko Deta Hain
26) A girl confessing to a boy about her love
Tu Aisa Basa Hain
Mere Dil Ke Andar
Jaise Jamun Ke Ped Par
Relaxed Baitha Hain Koi Bandar
27) A man introducing a singer
Sonu Nigamji aise singer hain jo
Ek to aate nahin hain
Aate hain to jaate nahin hain
Par bina feelings ke gaate nahin hain
28) A man to another
Bada shaktishali hain tu
Badi pahuch hain teri
Joh tu kuch kahe toh waat lag jaye meri
Kitni kaali hain zabaan teri
29) A man to his wife
Kitni sundar hain tu
Jaise koi gudiya hain tu
Par zabaan mat khol
Varna mirchi ki pudiya hain tu
30) A Man to his girlfriend
Chanda jaise muk pe
Aankeh jaise tare
Dekh ke tera thobda
Chamkeh merey sitare
31) A poet writes about Apsaras
Rambha urvasi menaka
Hain yeh har dev ki priya
Swarg ki yeh apsara
Jeese paas bulaye woh gaya
Pagal ho gaya yaa aids se mara
32) A man about his boss
Arre boss meri leta hain
Bahut kaam deta hain
Mahina bhar khooon chusta hain
Ya mera khoon etna sasta hain
Ki salary ki bajay celery deta hain
33) A storyteller says
Jab Mein Sunata Hoon Meri Jubani Teri Kahani
Log Itne Khush Hote Hain
Jitni Khush Hoti Hain
Saas Ke Maut Par Bahu Rani
34) A man tells to his wife
Tere chehre ko dekhe ke loot gaya main
Kisi Bahyanak Sapnay Se Jaise Uth Gaya Mein
Masale Ki Jagah Kut Gaya mein
Pathar Se Tel Nikalne mein Juth gaya mein
35) A man tells his girlfriend
Yeh Shaam Hain Suhaani
Inkar karke na kar murder
Merey dilka meri Rani
Main Hoon Tera Bajirao , Tu Meri Mastaani
36) A fat man collapses after seeing the hotel bill
Dekhte hi gir gaya table pe
Jab dekha usne dinner ka bill
Tab pata chala hume
Ki sand ki body mein tha mendak ka dill
37) The marriage
Yeh pagal ho gaya
Woh pagal ho gayi
Donon bore ho gaye
Shaadi purani ho gayi
38) Birthday!!
Janamdin mubarakhon , mubarakhon kehte hain
Kitni jaahil si baat hain
Abe maut ki taraf badh rahan hoon
Yeh kya khushi ki baat hain
39) Balding man says
Thode udh gaye
Thode safed ho gaye
Baki ghaas ki tarah khade rahte hain
Yeh mere baal hain
Mere takle ka yeh haal hain
Ki mundi jhukau
Toh koi talwar ki dhaal hain
Yeh mere baal hain
Yeh mere baal hain
40) one roommate to another who is taking long baths
Qayamat ki ghadi aa gayi hain
Duniya se ruksaat hone ka time aana hain
Khul Rahein Hain Jahanoon Ke Darwaze
Bahar Nikal Baba, Muzhe bathroom jaana hain
41) About a harrassed husband
Hosiyar Baccha
Jaahil Biwi
Fas Gaya Pati
Ab Dekhe Bas TV
42) Life mein RIKS:
Riks Lene Par Doston
Kuch Naya Jaroor Ho Jata Hain
Par Yaad Rakho Bhaiyon
Thaarrane Wale Mendak Ko
Kabhi sakhi milti hain
Toh Kabhi use saap kha jaata hain
43) Bechare Pati ne tang aakar patni ka insalute kiya:
Lucky hain woh jinki shaadi hui
Kisi chudail se
Humari ho gayee
Kisike rakhel se
44) A man tells his friend to forget about her ex
Joh Chodh Ke Chala Gaya
Jeete Ho Uske Hokar
Hum Joh Pooja Karta Hain
Bas Milti Hain Tumhari Thokar
45) A lament
Peechle janam ke paapon ka
Ees janam kya naata
Etna mujhe bata de data
Jholi bhar dee khushiyon se unki
Humri jeb khali
Aur kehta hain aake mandar mein mein bajua taali
46) A dumped lover says:
Samajh Naa Aayi Mujhe Yeh Baat
Soch Rahan Tha Main Poori Raat
Aisa Kya Kiya Maine Joh
Gayee dump karke mujhko woh
47) A bachelor:
dekhke tujhko
saans meri atke
khoon ubhle
man umat kar
fefde mein machle
kab tak bachelor banne
hum rahein latke
aaja bahon mein aakar
thode dikha
pyar ke jhatke
48) A man polishing shoes says:
Company ko hua loss
Toh Pagal hua Boss
Boss ne kiya Toss
Heads thi humari sundar co worker
Tails tha main
Aur Kahan Boss Ne Muskurake
Joh aaye heads toh woh ruke
Aur Tails aye toh mera patta kate
Aaaya Head
Woh reh gayi boss ki hoke
Aur mein kar rahan hoon polish jute
49) About Marriage:
Kaju Badam Piste Se Bhara
Lagata Hain Marriage Ka Rasta
Par Yaad Rakhana Merey Doston
Yeh Safar Nahin Hain Sasta
50) A fanatic person says:
Khana Kyu Nahin Khati
Kiss Baat Par Hain Tu Hair
Kaafir Ki Maut Par
Kyu Jaan Pareshan
51) Praising a girl
Aisi Kamal Ki Cheez Hain Tu
Aisi Zalim Cheez Hain Tu
Bakre Ke Naseeb Ki Bakri Eid Hain Tu
52) A man laments about his fate
Noorani Chehre Par Sehraa Kyun
Eid Ke Chand Par Pehraa Kyun
Chorus Mein Ek Behraa Kyun
Naseeb Mein Andhera Faila Kyun
53) A roommate to another
Hum Masti Main Gum The
Aur Gaa Rahein The
Woh Kya Tum The
Joh Office Jaa Rahein The
Agar woh tum the
Joh Jaa Rahein The
Toh hume batao
Kyun Hum Bathroom Mein Bandh Kar Diya
Jab Hum Nahan Rahein The
54) Zulfe
Hum Kehte Hain Zulfen Jisko
Tum Kehte Ho Baal
Aisi Shayari Kar Karke
Hua Haal Behaal
55) A Husband says:
Pyaasa Tha
To Thik Tha
Ab Kaala Pani Ho Gaya
Sikandar Hone Ki Khwaish Toh Kabhi Na Ki
Par Bandar Baanke Reh Gaya
56) A woman says to the bridegroom
Bandh Kar Apna Thela
Aur Baitha Reh Akela
Kharidne Aayi Thi Main Aam
Aur Bech Rahan Hain Tu Kela
57) About Rooplal
Arre Rooplal
Kahan Gaye Tere Baal
Ho Gaya Kaise Yeh Tera Haal
Hua Teri Shaadi Ko
Baas Ek Hi Saal
58) A man explaining the birth of the child
Maine Kuch Bhi Nahin Kiya
Joh Hona Tha Ho Gaya
Shaadi Huye nau mahine
Aur Baccha Pyara Ho Gaya
59) A bachelor’s woe
Duniya Ke Thele Pe
Bas Bechne Aaya Ek Kela
Aur Baitha Rahan Jeevan Bhar
Jaise Baithe Pinjare Main Panchee Akela
60) After Kids
Bacche Jab se Hue Hain
Padi Musibat Peeche
Patni Nadha Dheela Kare Toh
Bacche Chaddi Khiche
61) Goshal Sippy (Gossip) says:
Laila Ke Gum Mein
Majnu Kuda Kuye Mein
Par Sach Baat Toh Yeh Hain Ki
Haar Gaya Jaan Bujhke Majnu Laila Ko Juye Mein
62) A man says to an elderly chap:
Tu Pehane 70s ke kapade
Aur Chipaye Sadiyon Ke LafadeGhotala Kare Tu DadduAur Police Mujhe Pakade
